Sunday, 12 May 2013

Coalition Implosion?

Well, there's a lot of strange malarkey about the Queen's Speech and votes and so forth. All absolutely fascinating to about 0.1 per cent of the electorate, but it might just start a process that could wreck the government. With a bit of luck the lying bastards will self-destruct over Europe and there'll be a general election this year. I don't have high hopes of a Miliband premiership, of course. But choosing between Labour and the Con-Dems is like choosing between being kicked in the shin and having your lower leg removed by a drunk with a rusty machete.

It would apt if the Con-Dem coalition collapsed because the Tories can't get their act together on Europe. Cynical, conceited old Ken Clarke wants to stay in because it's good for business, sort of. Cynical, conceited old Nigel Lawson wants to leave because it's bad for business. Neither has a clue what would really happen if we left, but both are too pompous and self-indulgent to give serious thought to real world issues. The important thing is that their flabby old egos get stroked by the press.

So, best case scenario: Tories disintegrate into spiteful, bickering mess over EU referendum. Coalition collapses and Cameron hands in his P45 to Liz, all probably due to Nick Clegg being a tosser and mistiming his move. Lib-Dem vote collapses, leaving them with about thirty MPs. UKIP scuppers the Tories in a good few seats but wins no MPs. Labour wins a majority of about 20 because it's vote, while not impressive, hasn't actually collapsed. Worst case scenario - another hung parliament with Labour and Tories on roughly equal numbers of seats, despite Labour getting more votes. Not a wonderful range of options.

Apart from anything else, though, it would be wonderful just to see the back of Iain Duncan Smith, forever. Well, he'd be translated to the Lords, as our biggest political failures and liars usually are. What better reward for failing to serve the people as an elected MP than making someone an unelected MP? That's British democracy, dude! But at least we wouldn't see IDS's ignorant, smug, parasitic face so often. Oh, and with a bit of luck Michael Gove would run for the Tory leadership, lose, and flounce off in a huff like Portillo. Or he'd be eaten by a velociraptor. Either one is fine.


  1. I vote for 'eaten by a velociraptor'. We are having a referendum on this, right?