The Mail's Mandy Misogyny

So, Mandy Rice-Davies died, and the Daily Mail referred to her as a 'call girl'. This is old-time newstalk for 'white prostitute with posh or at least upper-middle-class clients'. And no, I am not linking to this or any other story in the Mail, as a public service to you, gentle reader. Thank me later. I could go on about the fact that Ms Davies was never a prostitute, but that would merely be challenging the Mail on a matter of record. Why bother? They never cared about facts. So let's have a crack at the 'tude behind the inaccurate description.

First, the phrase itself. The dead language of cliché and worse, that's what our newspapers use. We're used to it, don't think about how bad it is, unless we happen to read it aloud. Words like 'reveller' when they mean 'someone who's been to the pub'. Except, of course, when they use 'pubgoer'. Anything rather than refer to people as people, and use ordinary people's language, it seems. So it's not surprising that 'call girl' is still in the Mail's lexicon. I wouldn't be surprised if the Express used the term as well.

But of course they had to use a sexually-charged and rather grubby term when a woman famous for the (unwitting) fallout from a sexual encounter died. Why? The right-wing press is apparently run by misogynists, who also manage - through efficient time-management - to be racist, homophobic, anti-intellectual, and a leering, slobbering interest in teenage girls.

Yes, I know journos have to make a living and someone who works for, say, Murdoch money isn't necessarily as horrible as Old Rupe, (Randy Ol' Rupe is this horrible, btw,) But, given that we live in a world where journos can make a difference for the better in oppressive states, very few seem to try and do the right thing in the relatively free UK,

But it's not just Murdoch. The Mail is part of a news empire owned by the fourth Viscount Rothermere, who lives in France to avoid paying UK taxes. (France is a country the newspapers he owns routinely tell us is hostile to free enterprise - go figure). The first Lord Rothermere worshipped Hitler, sending him fan-mail, terming him 'Adolf the Great', and predicting that he would become immensely popular with ordinary Brits. Oh, and Rothermere also wanted to King of Hungary, presumably on the basis that Adolf the Great owed him that much. He died in 1940, a very apposite date.

During the run-up to WW2 Rothermere didn't just spin for Hitler, he paid thousands to a Nazi agent, She may have been his mistress. Certainly if the Mail were publishing this item today, that's what would be heavily hinted at, so why not? 'Did Daily Mail Founder Shag Hitler's Call Girl?' - one possible headline for a belated non-scoop of the sort the paper specialises in. Oddly enough, though, it's not customary in the press these days to refer to 'Nazi sympathiser and possible traitor Lord Rothermere'. One law for call girls, it seems, another for long-dead, pro-fascist loons.

An Illuminating Interview

You know how, back in the day (i.e. before the 15th century), people had to write all those long books out by hand? And how that Gutenberg bloke came along and started printing stuff, which led to More Books?

Right, now we're on the same page - so to speak - here's a link to an illuminated MS that's been created by modern scribes. None of them are monks, so far as I know, and they are unlikely to be struck down at any moment by marauding Vikings, or the Black Death. Otherwise, though, they are perfectly legit scribes. With ink.

It does look a bit odd, because of course mediaeval manuscripts were chock full of weird images of naughty/crazy people, strange mythical beasts etc. Here the scribes have done a cracking job of illustrating the piece with images of the Saturn V, Apollo spacecraft etc.

Anyway, they've produced a spiffing volume of illuminated writings about sundry topics. At the link you can see an interview with physicist and science writer Paul Davies. It's an interesting interview in itself.

I think Davies makes a good point re: Richard Dawkins, in that the latter's books made biology sexy, whereas before The Selfish Gene it had been seen as the rather dull, worthy cousin of physics and astronomy.

Re: written science fiction, there is the thorny question of whether it should - or can be - more optimistic. Davies makes the key point that the Cold War led to the Space Age because of intense competition for prestige between two power blocs. But if military strategy had been the sole issue, there'd have been no real need to try and convert/upgrade ICBMs to take men to the Moon and probes far beyond. Similar competition might produce a 'Second Space Age' fuelled by the rivalry of (say) India and China.

Sadly, Davies also makes the point that our culture seems increasingly rootless, or rudderless. Where material acquisitiveness is everything, nothing is meaningful. At the same time, he's right to argue that things are better now in many ways than they were in the Sixties or Seventies. What we lack is a 'framing narrative', a common core of myth or idealism. I don't see literary sf delivering that, but I could be wrong. Renaissance humanism only affected a small minority of people in theory, as only a few could read. But many more were touched by art, music, and the general spirit of the age.

Always carry a sausage...

In case there's a dog.

Not standard ninja practice, but still a useful tip.

Of course, if there's a sausage dog, you may be in trouble.

In Denial

Or, more precisely, in the North Atlantic...

'Consider Her Ways'

One for my friend Laura, a not-too-bad 1960s TV version of a John Wyndham story about feminism, consumerism, and pest control. Quite surprising, as the Hitchcock series (there were several) tended to focus on crime/thriller stories. This does have a murder in it, but it's straight sf.

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Getting Worked Up Over Gibraltar

Spain periodically gets upset about Gibraltar, which is a sort of British naval base and minor tourist resort with 'apes'. The usual position on this in the British press is 'Sod off, Pancho' or variations on that theme. But a more nuanced response might be to point out that Spain is hypocritical and perhaps a wee bit racist over the issue.

Gibraltar is undeniably a bit of Spain that was grabbed by Britain (or England, or whatever) in days of yore. The fact that historic treaties confirm UK sovereignty and that the people of Gibraltar seem fairly happy with the current arrangements aren't seen - by Spanish politicians - as significant compared the geographical claim i.e. you've nicked a bit of our land.

Fair enough. But why, if it's all about geographical integrity, doesn't Spain hand back its two enclaves in North Africa? Ceuta and Melilla have majority Spanish populations who don't want to be handed over to the government of Morocco. Instead they are happy to remain as 'autonomous cities' within the kingdom of Spain.

If Spain doesn't accept that Morocco has a claim on two bits of what would appear to be its land why all this fuss over Gibraltar? Might it be because Moroccans are brown folks, and therefore their right to national integrity etc can't be taken seriously? I wonder. There are legal distinctions to be made between Ceuta and Gibraltar, but they are just that - legalistic niceties. The basic fact that a foreign flag is flying 'inside' someone else's country is at the heart of both disputes.

Communication

The Lord Howell solution

So an unelected Tory MP suggested that, while fracking would obviously be awful (I mean, absolutely ghastly, old boy) in nice parts of England, it would be fine in the North East because the whole region is a post-industrial wasteland inhabited by ugly inbred morons. That's what he really thinks. He later apologised, but that's just marzipan - his first remarks reveal his real thoughts, the apology reflected the fact that there's at least one Tory marginal in the North East.

Lord Howell is a piece of work. He's a former Thatcher minister, he's George Osborne's father-in-law, and he went to Eton and Oxford. He's a classic example of a posh bloke who started climbing the power ladder about three rungs from the top and still failed to amount to much. Another upper-class mediocrity who - because he's gone through life pretty much getting everything that matters his own way - thinks of himself as quite the clever chap. Whereas in fact he's a stupid bastard, but one so well-connected that his stupid bastardy can't do him much harm. Like Boris, Cameron, and the rest of them.

Well, so what? Big deal. The Tory mask slips so often these days that anyone who doubts they are a party of amoral chancers who worship money and power just isn't paying attention. Cameron's desperate attempts to whitewash the essential posh-boy shittiness of the Tory brand isn't working well, partly because he's a crap leader and partly because the right-wing press keeps revealing the deep-seating homophobia, racism, and misogyny that have long characterised the Tory brand. No surprises there.

However, Lord Howell's brilliant suggestion does raise another issue. Gas fracking is all very well, but we need some kind of non-fossil fuel energy source for the long-term future. Despite massive bungling in high places nuclear power is still an option, not least because it can produce lots of lovely electricity round the clock. Sure, there are risks of accidents and contamination and a nuclear plant nearby isn't going to do property values any good. But let's take a dispassionate look at the harsh economic realities right-wingers love to talk about.

Nuclear power is needed most in the South of England. London and its environs need more and more power, and nuclear energy is the best way to ensure that power is provided. Since a lot of power is lost in transmission through the grid it makes no sense to build a power station in Sellafield to cater to Southwark. No, nuclear plants in the South East would be the most efficient option. So where should they be built?

First, choose an area of moral desolation. Lord Howell and those like him went to Eton, Oxford, and then into the City. Nuclear plants in those areas would not threaten many decent human beings, and in fact an accident might well increase the basic decency of the nation. As a bonus, the chilling effect on property prices across the entire South East would be a tremendous boon for young couples seeking a first home. Oh, and if accidents became fairly common enough it might deter all those economic migrants Londoners seem to hate so much. It's a bargain bucket of radioactive win!

Trollbusting in Twit City

Imagine you live in a city, one where there are lots of stupid, thoughtless, sometimes dangerous people, but where - on balance - most people are reasonably civilized and decent most of the time. Now imagine that somebody comes into town and sets up a new shop. This emporium sells disguises, in the form of masks and costumes. The shop soon becomes popular with people going to parties, putting on plays, and so forth. 

But then a disturbing trend arises. Individuals and even gangs of young men start putting on disguises and hanging out in public places, where they routinely abuse and threaten passers-by. Because they are all young men, women are often the targets of their unpleasant antics. Sometimes an irate person grabs the mask from an abusers and punches him in the face, usually to widespread applause. But sometimes a masked mob descends on a person and beats him or her senseless. The city constabulary struggle to deal with the increasing disorder linked to the mask craze.

The mayor decides that Something Must Be Done. But what? A debate is called in the forum, but before it can get properly under way a masked mob bursts in and starts shouting down the speakers. Once again fights break out. The constabulary, yet again, have to intervene to prevent worse bloodshed. When all the masked intruders have been ejected and the seriously injured taken to hospital, the debate proper can begin.

Some argue for an outright ban on masks. 'Let everyone go barefaced!' they declare. 'If these troublemakers want to say anything controversial or inflammatory in public, let them be man enough to do so openly, not skulk in disguise like cowards!' Another group of councillors who think themselves wise counsel caution, arguing that depriving people of the right to wear masks infringes free speech. The 'unmaskers' ask why some should need disguises to freely speak while others seem to do all right without them? 

And third school of thought holds that people should be allowed to go in disguise if they wish, but should be deprived of the protection of ordinary citizens i,e. if an unmasked person encounters one or more masked persons in a dark alley at night, they former should be allowed to take any defensive action he sees fit, up to and including shooting them all.

Finally, after long deliberations, a vote is held and... 

Silly, but...

The inevitable happens inevitably again

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Okay, what's a flesh tunnel? No, on second thoughts, don't tell me.

Elementary?

Amazon reviews of things yet-to-be-released can be great fun. Since the BBC is advertising a DVD for the third series of Sherlock, which hasn't been shown yet, you can bet that some wacky dudes and dudettes have decided to offer their own opinions on what it's all about. Or might involve. Or something.

Who'd have known that Mrs. Hudson was actually a man? And that scene where John practises giving oral satisfaction on a banana?! Cracked me up. I'll have to say, Bendybumble Cucumberbatch turning out to be Robert Downey Jnr. at the end made me happy. Great actors.

Now that was unexpected. Sherlock gets hit by a car on leaving the cemetery and wakes up in 1881, where he has to deal with a strange case that resembles one he worked on back in the first season? A stunning idea, and it's almost a shame that it only lasted for the first two episodes. I'm sure that concept could be extended to a longer series....

I must say, it was a master stroke to combine two shows - I never expected the TARDIS to show up while Sherlock was in mid-fall, allowing him to be saved from certain death, then returned just before the point of impact, being lowered gently to the ground and playing dead for Watson. Plus it allowed Benedict Cumberbatch to go off and be the Doctor for four years before returning to Sherlock without anyone noticing.

Well! I didn't see that twist coming! The fact that Sherlock Holmes is actually a 14 year old girl called Chantelle, who has spent the last 5 years in a mental asylum, and all the characters are her multiple personalities! Blew me away! I started to suspect something was not quite right when John moved out, and Barney the Purple Dinosaur moved in, but I thought, heck, I'll go with it. And by the time Sherlock and Barney had got married I was totally gripped! Moffat, you genius, you've done it again!

Wow. Bringing Keyser Soze into the third series was an inspired move, even though Sherlock traditionalists may have some reservations. Also, revealing that Watson was Moriarty in disguise all along - WOW. Masterful twist.
Also watch out for cameos from Harvey Keitel, Michael Crawford and Simon Pegg.

RIP Mel Smith

No clues!

Could you invade us instead, please?

Egyptian Boy Talks Some Sense

Has he been coached? Well, I think if it's possible for a 12-year-old to formulate immensely complex theories on superheroes or Doctor Who - and they all can, by and large - then a 12-year-old should be able to figure out what's wrong with a draft constitution. I particularly like the way he nails the hypocrisy of the Islamists on women's rights. He may be a prodigy, but if enough young Egyptians agree with him, there's some hope.

It's been a good month for young Muslims.

Two Forms of Levitation

One involves the familiar use of magnets, which is effective but problematic because of energy requirements and some other stuff. However, once we have room-temperature superconductors, we can build Moebius monorails and have all sorts of fun.

Then there's levitation involving sound waves, which works well but has the obvious drawback of being quite loud. Apparently the way round that is to use 24 kilohertz, above the range of human hearing. Annoying for dogs, though. Anyway, in the absence of sound-levitated monorails that upset Fido, scientists use this amazing technology for manipulating liquid droplets and stuff. Useful if you want to avoid contamination, which is a risk if you're wielding a pipette. Anyway, here's sodium and water drifting together, whereupon wackiness ensues.

White Rabbit

Lies, Damn Lies, and Opinion Formers

The Royal Statistical Society has found that most people have no clue about the real percentage of under-age mothers, Muslims, or benefit fraudsters. One particularly significant area is the political equivalent of the Ark of the Covenant - pension spending.

Job-seekers allowance: 29% of people think we spend more on JSA than pensions, when in fact we spend 15 times more on pensions (£4.9bn vs £74.2bn).

Some of the misperceptions are astonishing, and show how far down dishonest politics and downright bigoted journalism can get you.

Immigration and ethnicity: the public think that 31% of the population are immigrants, when the official figures are 13%. Even estimates that attempt to account for illegal immigration suggest a figure closer to 15%. There are similar misperceptions on ethnicity: the average estimate is that black and Asian people make up 30% of the population, when it is actually 11% (or 14% if we include mixed and other non-white ethnic groups).

Gosh, it's almost as if some powerful ideological faction had spent decades telling white people they're about to become extinct.

The RSS is a touchingly naive organisation:

‘Our data poses real challenges for policymakers,’ said Hetan Shah, executive director of the Royal Statistical Society. ‘How can you develop good policy when public perceptions can be so out of kilter with the evidence? We need to see three things happen. Firstly, politicians need to be better at talking about the real state of affairs of the country, rather than spinning the numbers. Secondly, the media has to try and genuinely illuminate issues, rather than use statistics to sensationalise. And finally, we need better teaching of statistical literacy in schools, so that people get more comfortable in understanding evidence. Our getstats campaign is trying to create change at all of these levels.’

Firstly, I'd love to live in a world where politicians talk about 'the real state of affairs of the country', but that would involve asking why government policy always seems to boil down to handing lots of taxpayers' money to corporations that end up employing ex-MPs. It's a corrupt system and it doesn't want to be scrutinised.

Secondly, I dare say some sections of the media 'genuinely illuminate issues', but they are mostly bloggers and the like. Expecting the national press to do this raises the prospects of imminent porcine aviation - they are a slowly dying industry that survives by advertising, not honesty, and sensationalism is vital to get people looking at those ads.

Thirdly, teaching statistical literacy is a lovely idea and I'm sure the Germans do a fine job. In this country good teaching of hard topics is not genuinely valued by government because it requires the teaching of genuine critical thinking, and that would lead to a smarter electorate.

We are screwed. We have an establishment that, whatever it says it wants, thrives on ignorance. In the long run this will destroy our country as we fall disastrously behind younger, cleverer nations. But in the short term a policy of promoting ignorance works for the politicians and their paymasters. The next time you wonder why education 'reforms' always seem to be idiotic, consider this - perhaps their is an unconscious (or semi-conscious) desire among the pols to make them that way.

The fragile feelings of fascists

Yes, it indeed a terrible thing when a man's controversial political views lose him his job. Andrew Walker, a BNP activist who taught in County Durham (just up the road from my domicile) has been banned for life from teaching in the UK. He was annoyed:

He said: "This sets a dangerous precedent. We're talking about the realms of thought crime. 

"What I make of it is it may not necessarily be someone like myself - it could happen to anyone who might hold any type of views that do not fit in to the politically correct way of thinking. 

"We may have teachers who are on the extreme left wing, who attend demonstrations against people with my views, we may have Muslim extremists in the classroom. 

"I have never taken politics into the classroom."

Which sounds almost reasonable until you read the actual facts, whereby we discover that our racist hero took politics out of the classroom to the extent that he chased a group of boys aged 10 to 12 in his car, and then slashed the tyres of their bikes. The boys' offence had been to take the piss out of a teacher who was on a BNP march i.e. they exercised their freedom of expression (and showed fairly good judgement). Anything else? Well, there's this little insight into Wanker Walker's fitness to act in loco parentis.

He was given a six-month suspended prison sentence and lost his driving licence for 12 months after he admitted dangerous driving at Durham Crown Court last September.

Oh, and since Walker had been disciplined for making racist remarks in 2010, he was 'taking politics into the classroom' every time he walked into it, because after his first little transgression everyone knew he was a fascist, right? And I understand kids today get taught stuff about Nazis and the bad things they did, so...

It's funny how these defenders of our traditional rights are so quick to ignore the right we all have to judge them by their words and deeds. If a teacher goes Morris dancing, you can bet the kids will know about it and take the piss to some extent. Same goes for extremist politics, or having Jason King sideburns, or - God help you - poor personal hygiene.

Teaching is obviously not for poor shrinking violet karate instructors(!) who can't take a bit of verbal stick from 10-year-olds.

But the BNP is, apparently.

So, in conclusion, no actual thoughtcrime has occurred in the northern sectors of Airstrip One. Pity, I went to the trouble of learning all the words.

A conservative you can trust